My first real stab at painting probably since the third grade. I’ve always felt that art in any form, a picture or a paragraph, leaves you vulnerable. So I was too concerned with what my peers thought to ever take an art class and learn some basics. But I’m here now and this creative part of me wants to be naked for the world to see.
My boyfriend said something to me yesterday, he said that the only thing holding me back, is me. And that’s true, I can’t argue that. I have ideas that I would love to see come to light, but I never follow through because I think I’m not ready or I think other people are better able to accomplish what I want. Simply put, I don’t think I’m good enough to achieve anything great and so I never want to put myself out there, or let my ambitions be known. Im afraid that people will think what I’m saying or doing Is stupid, and not noteworthy. I’m resolving today to really work on that. This is the first step on a long journey. I wrote a little reminder, one that’ll probably be scattered throughout the pages of my journal. One that I hope will eventually be ingrained in my thought patterns.
Remember, these thoughts and ideas you’re having, that’s the universe telling you to pursue them. It’s not inviting you to open yourself to judgement and self-esteem deflating criticism. Yes, that’s inevitable but as long as you’re doing what you love, something you’re passionate about, everyone else’s opinion is irrelevant.
It’s easy to forget sometimes that all things in life, good and bad, are fluid. Whatever it is you’re going through is only temporary. That job you hate, it won’t be your job forever, it is only your job now. You can change it. You can change anything in life that does not serve you. Don’t live in your sadness or your anger, because it’ll pass. But remember that happiness is only temporary as well. Live in that, as much as you can.
Social media, the new and often only way we communicate. Some people get it, others don’t. Either way there’s a thin line you’re walking between doing too much and doing just enough to stay relevant. The consensus says the majority of the population is trying too hard. (Yes even you Kylie Jenner) But you don’t have to take my word for it. This site is meant to promote a new line of Axe male-grooming products, Matte effect. Login with one of your social media profiles and it will factor in the amount of hashtags/emojis and which ones you use, as well as the frequency you post. The fun part is it’ll even let you see which friends are over-utilizing the #selfie, as if you didn’t already know.
When was the last time you felt truly relaxed and allowed yourself to just let go? Bet it’s been awhile hasn’t it? Between work, school, and social outings, it seems as though there’s never enough time in the day for YOU. How can you possibly give happiness to anyone else if you’re not first giving some to yourself?
Wake up early, cook yourself a healthy gourmet(ish) breakfast. Avocado toast is always a fav! Pet a puppy, plant flowers. Take a stroll to your local coffee shop and enjoy a latte while you read my blog! Or you know, the newspaper, if that’s your thing. Even something as simple as waking up 5 minutes earlier to take a couple deep breaths and give yourself some positive affirmations for the day makes a world of a difference. Whatever it is you do, remember to carve out some time for you, your only guaranteed lifelong lover.
I’m constantly seeking acknowledgment, attention, validation. Things that are not relevant to my life. I do not need others to tell me that I’m important or I’m funny or I’m “cool”. That what I say matters. Or what I’m doing in my life is satisfactory. I don’t need others to tell me that I’m worthy. Worthy of whatever. I say I don’t need others to tell me who I am but it is something I constantly obsess over. Like my status, like my photos, reblog my posts, tell me I’m pretty. It’s so pathetic. You don’t need any fucking thing or anyone to confirm that you’re good enough. I want to be able to confidently say that I am someone, and I don’t need you to tell me that. One day.